Maybe I'm to blame for my own loneliness, but too be honest I prefer to be alone. I guess that makes me a lone wolf, I really hate being told what to do or doing things that someone wants me to do when I really don't. I go to movies on my own, and I exercise alone as well.
I tell myself I'd like to fall in love and find a boyfriend, but I don't think I really want to. Love is such a delicate thing that needs constant care and commitment and I'm not just ready or more so willing to make such a big compromise in my life yet. That could be because adoption messed me up for years; I'm allright with shallow friendship but I have few if no close friends. Should that worry me, maybe it should but it doesn't.
I was told for years that I was given up for adoption because I was the wrong gender, I grew up feeling confussed because I wanted to find love yet I couldn't really trust a person of the opposite sex... Constantly thinking that they'd abandon me so it's better if I do the exit first. A part of me still thinks like that, but at least I've forgiven the people that I feel should be forgiven and accepted them just as they are.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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